Chill

Be More Chill by Ned Vizzini
Having a hard time enjoying your High School experience? Always feel like your saying the wrong things? Find yourself writing down comments others say about you as a way to keep track of your humiliation?

YOU NEED A "Squip"
 * From Geek To In Crowd, Just Like that!!
 * The "Squip" guides you to ultimate happiness!!
 * Just swallow and see- Your instantly cool!!
 * talk to that special someone
 * Dress to Impress
 * Learn how to act like One of the "COOL" kids

Want to CHANGE your life for the BETTER??!!

ORDER A "SQUIP" TODAY

Side effects may include losing control of your life, your emotions and everything in between. You may notice that your better off on your own!!

Cool Pill


 * Aimlessly, I wander, my head
 * Toward the floor, watching
 * My feet trudge through the day.


 * I don't dress right, am flabby
 * Have no confidence, barely getting by.
 * Not happy with me, or anything really.


 * People at school make fun of me
 * I write names on my Humiliation Sheet
 * For later evaluation and remembrance.


 * Something's gotta change or I won't.
 * No dates, no hook-ups, and no going out,
 * No girls, not even a little bit.


 * My new buddy tells of a mighty mini
 * Nano computer I can swallow
 * Giving me cool directions to follow.


 * Some valuable, stolen, beanie babies
 * My Aunt's plushy critters
 * Sold on eBay fund my budding coolness.


 * Six hundred bucks later, a voice squips
 * In my head, advises my moves, clothes, eats.
 * Instructs no masturbating no worrying.


 * All will be fine, replace old friends with new
 * Be secret, do push ups, never be mean to girls
 * Unless they are ugly.


 * Persuasive knowledge implanted in my brain
 * With the calm of the coolest of the cool
 * I am unstoppable for a time.


 * At least for this year in school.

http://dt.wikia.com/wiki/Image:Squip.JPG